Genesis 1:26-28. “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
Much is being said, written and taught on the subject of sex today. Although sex has always been one of man’s most intriguing subjects, it has never been so widely and openly discussed as it is today. Tens of thousands of books and articles have been written on the subject in the last few years. Psychologists, doctors, marriage counsellors, ministers, educators, psychiatrists and even the schools are openly teaching and discussing the subject of sex. We might say we are in the throes of a sexual revolution.
This interest and open discussion of sex is not simply because our generation is more enlightened and sophisticated than our grandfathers and grandmothers were. It is the inevitable result of the almost constant exposure of the minds of the last two generations to sex through the movies, TV and various forms of literature. The glorification and exploitation of sex through these means has made this generation the most sex conscious of any that ever lived.
Beyond doubt much of the inhibitions, fears and taboos caused by ignorance and traditional attitudes needs to be dealt with — not necessarily by the many sex experts, some no doubt which are good and some which are bad — but by inspired truth which alone can set men free.
Truth that sets man free also reaches into the institutions of marriage and sex. Man’s greed, prejudice, hatred, bigotry and fear are caused by his benighted lack of truth. What we believe and think influences all areas of human life and conduct. This is also true of sex, a subject that is still taboo in some of our society today.
I do not believe God has left us in the dark on this important subject. Since God made sex in the beginning, when he created man, he certainly intends for us to know something about it. Although we cannot ignore nor discredit the true findings of science, I believe the Bible must forever be our basic source of information. True science will not conflict with the Word of God. With all of the interest and discussion of sex it certainly seems timely and appropriate that we examine the subject in the light of the scriptures.
When man is referred to in a general sense in the Bible it has reference to mankind as a whole. This, of course, includes male and female. When the Lord said, “...Let us make man in our image, after our likeness;...” he meant all the masculine and feminine qualities that distinguish the male from the female. These qualities are as much mental or spiritual in nature as they are physical. We are prone to consider or think of them more from the standpoint of the physical than we are the spiritual. This is because we are so carnal. Although there is the physical difference, I believe the spiritual aspect is just as important and must not be overlooked.
The qualities of masculinity and femininity came from God and reposed in the single entity of man when he was created. Genesis 5:2 says “Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam (singular), in the day when they were created.”
It is evident that Adam was alone when he was created and placed in the garden of Eden. Genesis 1:7-25. Although the qualities of masculinity and femininity resided in Adam there was a loneliness that could not be filled until Eve was separated from Adam and made into a distinct entity, which he called woman.
“And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18.
Genesis 2:21-24 says, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
It is most significant that the relationship of Christ to the Church is foreshadowed here with this very scripture being quoted by Paul in reference to Christ and the Church. Ephesians 5:30-32. “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.”
As the woman was one with and in man in the beginning, Christ was one with and in God back in eternity. The separation of Eve from Adam was a type of Christ’s separation from God, the Father. This was also the means of Christ becoming a distinct entity in himself. Although God, the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, are two distinct entities they are one in spiritual substance with God, the Father, as the head of Christ the Son. This is also true of Christ and the Church and man and woman. I Cor. 11:3-9. Col 1:18.
By nature the man and woman are incomplete without each other. Since masculinity and femininity were both in Adam in the beginning, man and woman are incomplete without each other.
The masculinity in the man wants to shelter, protect and love the woman, the weaker vessel. Ordinarily the woman doesn’t have the large frame, muscles and even hairy body and face of the man. Aside from the sex organs, the woman has breasts which distinguishes her from the man and also enables her to nurse the infant.
The femininity of the woman likewise desires the love, shelter and protection of the man. Though all this difference is a factor the great physical difference in man and woman is sex.
This is also the greatest factor or power that draws them together. Eliminate sex and you would eliminate marriage in the normal sense. This is why a normal man or woman desires a mate from the opposite sex. Normal human beings have no desire for a member of their own sex. Homosexuality or sexual perversion of any kind is not normal. According to Romans 1:21-28, it is the result of mankind being given over to a reprobate mind.
Although the man’s and woman’s bodies are different in many ways, femininity or masculinity without sex would not draw them together. You find some men who are delicate and feminine in appearance and ways, but you won’t find a real normal man that wants to marry him just to love, shelter and protect him because of those qualities. Neither will you find a normal woman desiring one of these masculine type women. The very thought of such a thing is repulsive to a normal man or woman.
Although there are other factors that serve to draw men and women together such as religion, culture, professions, hobbies, and other common interests, the greatest factor of all is the power of sex. Eliminate sex and you would eliminate marriage. It is because of this distinct difference in man and woman that God has ordained a place for each one in their relationship to each other. I Cor.11:3. I Peter 3:7. This is also the reason for God-ordained decrees concerning hair and dress. I Cor. 11:14-15. Deut. 22:5. Difference in dress and length of hair is to enhance the difference in male and female. God intends for the man and woman to honor and respect this distinction, which he their creator has subjected them to. Submission to divine order is submission to God.
The attraction of male and female to each other is natural and normal. As surely as it is natural and normal for animals to mate and reproduce after reaching sexual maturity it is also for mankind.
The power of sex will overrule all barriers in its quest for gratification. Social, religious and national barriers are constantly swept aside by the power of sex. A fitting example of this is the marriage of service men to foreign women during their tour of duty overseas.
Some American girls asked some GI’s what the Vietnamese girls had that they didn’t have. Their reply was, “nothing, they were there and you were here”. The Vietnamese girls were available and the American girls were not.
Beyond doubt sex alone is the great factor in most marriages. Time and again I have observed young men and women reject the offer of marriage to a good, clean moral person and marry some unsavory character, who would in the end make their life miserable. The usual reason for this is that they find the shoddy character more attractive. This attraction is usually sex appeal. It is not uncommon for such marital ventures to start out with the couple supposedly madly in love and end after a few months in hatred and bitterness.
Because of the power of sex we have always had some men who were Cassanovas and some women who were vamps. They learned how to employ the power of sex to beguile and seduce. Demons are also actively engaged in prodding men and women into wrong marriages and illicit sex. The normal sex drive is powerful enough without the aid of a demon. II Timothy 2:22.
There is at work in the world today a calculated design to stimulate sex in man and destroy all honor and respect for marriage and sex in the normal sense. This is the reason for a spirit of sexual permissiveness and perversion such as the world has never witnessed before. It is part of the great satanic conspiracy to defy God and destroy mankind.
Sex without honor, respect and love is base and animalistic. Because man is created in the image of God he must have more than just temporary sexual release. There must be mental and above all things spiritual compatibility. Sex without these ingredients is never really satisfying and complete.
Not only must the body be satisfied but man’s spirit (intellect, knowledge and conscience) is very much involved. These too must be satisfied in sexual union. Psychiatrists, marriage counsellors and all knowledgeable people recognize the need for compatibility in marriage. The basis for true compatibility goes beyond natural, earthly things such as friends, professions, education, children and other common interests. I might add that oneness in Christ and spiritual things is even more necessary.
With our society more materialistic today than ever before, the world system is programmed to meet the needs of the natural man, consequently there is little room for Christ and spiritual things. This is another reason for the continued increase in the divorce rate, sexual infidelity and perversion.
Marriage is God’s first institution for the well being of man. In the very beginning after God had created Adam he saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. Gen. 2:18.
From the scriptural account of earth’s first marriage (Gen. 2:21-24) it is evident that marriage is indeed a holy institution originating in the wisdom and goodness of God. It is designed to promote human happiness and holiness before God and man. It is the foundation of home life and social order.
Sanctioned and honored by the presence of Jesus at the marriage in Cana of Galilee, it is declared by the Apostle Paul to be honorable in all. Hebrews 13:4. Being a type of our eternal union to Christ, God intended for marriage to be permanent.
Although God commanded Moses, under the law, to grant a bill of divorcement to irreconcilable couples it was not so in the beginning. Because they were despising God’s law in breaking their marriage vows by separation and cohabitation with others, God decreed divorce. This was not God’s best for them but it served to make their separation legal and preserve some degree of sanctity to the institution of marriage. Matthew 19: 3-9. Deut. 24: 1-4.
Sex outside of marriage is morally wrong and can only lead to shame and heartbreak. It is wrong because it is transgression of God’s law. Heb. 13:4. It is wrong because so many lives are involved; mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, wives, husbands, and illegitimate children, all have to bear the reproach of illicit sex.
However in its proper place, sex is good because it was created by God for a good purpose. Only in the corrupted thinking of man’s mind is sex evil. The fact that sex is often associated with evil and Satan has perverted sexual behavior in some does not mean that sex is evil in itself. In addition to being the means of reproduction in the earth, sex serves to bring man and woman together into earth’s most sacred and satisfying relationship. So much so that the scriptures use the marriage union as a type of Christ and the Church. Ephesians 5: 25-32. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church; For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.”
Although sex is God’s means of natural reproduction and many look upon it as serving only that purpose such is not the case. In Paul’s treatment of the subject in I Corinthians 7, the primary reason given by the Apostle for marriage is sexual gratification. Although some desire children, they are, for the most part, the natural result of sexual union, in or out of wedlock.
As long as we think of sex as something nasty and immoral we will never be able to fully appreciate the pleasure and delight God has bestowed upon us through the enjoyment of each other’s body.
The only thing nasty about sex is when we do not keep our bodies clean. And of course illicit sex without the honor and respect of marriage is morally and spiritually defiling. It is also a notable fact that most venereal diseases are transmitted through illicit sex.
When we despise God’s law we must suffer the consequence. Sin leads to sickness and sickness leads to death. This is just as true of sexual immorality as it is of murder. Galatians 6:7-8 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Sex like every good thing that God has created is to shared. If there is no mutual enjoyment of sex a marriage is not complete. The truth is lack of enjoyment and response often becomes a deterrent to a successful marriage. Failure in this area leads to frustration and beyond doubt has been the cause of separation and divorce. This is why Paul said, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” I Cor. 7:3-5.
According to this teaching the husband or wife is guilty of defrauding their marriage partner if they withhold the right to each other’s body. It actually teaches that the husband or wife has the exclusive right or authority over the other’s body in the matter of sex. Only by mutual consent are they to abstain for a while that they might give themselves to fasting and prayer. Then they are exhorted to come together again lest Satan tempt them for their incontinency.
Lack of gratification of the sexual appetite can lead to temptation by Satan and sexual infidelity. This is also why Paul tells the unmarried and the widows to marry if they can’t contain. It is better to marry than it is to burn with desire. Verses 8 and 9.
Most intimate of all human relations, sexual intercourse should be a sacred tender experience not to be shared with anyone but your beloved. It is the intimate climax of two people in love. The voice of the bridegroom (Christ) to his bride (the Church) expresses this sacred and tender relationship in Song of Solomon 7:6-9. “How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples; And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.”
In verses 10-13, the bride answers the bridegroom in equally tender tones. “I am my beloved’s and his desire is toward me. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves. The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, my beloved.”
Foreshadowed here in symbolic language is the divine love of Christ for his bride, the Church. The intimate sexual relationship of two people in love is a type of this love. As such intimate expression of physical love leads to reproduction (children) the Church also brings forth when she spends much time in intimate spiritual union with Christ.
As proper attitude is necessary when we approach Christ through prayer, praise and thanksgiving, so is a proper attitude necessary in this most tender and sacred of all human relationships. It must not be cheapened by lack of consideration or coarse vulgar action. True love built upon mutual honor and respect for each other is a must. Affectionate concern for each other that their desire might be gratified will result in careful preparation for the marriage bed.
Before man can be united to Christ there has to be spiritual preparation. The ministry of John the Baptist was to prepare the people and get them ready for Christ. Matt. 3:1-12. This spiritual preparation that precedes the union of Christ and his body, the Church, typifies the physical and mental preparation necessary before man and woman come together in marriage and sexual union.
Jesus exhorted those that would follow him to count the cost before they started. Matt. 8:19-22. Luke 14:25-33. The purpose of such teaching by the Lord was to eliminate the superficial believer and prepare the genuine seeker of God for union with Christ. Lack of such teaching has filled much of the professing Church with unbelievers.
In the same manner lack of teaching and consequent preparation has been the cause of much marital failure. There must be a preparation of minds and hearts as well as bodies before a couple can have a successful marriage. This has always been so especially in this hour of sexual infidelity and permissiveness. The lack of a good home life and proper environment has spawned a generation that is not prepared for marriage. Not only must there be preparation for marriage in general but there must be continual preparation for the marriage bed when couples come together in sexual union.
Husbands and wives should be very considerate of each other in the matter of physical cleanliness and appearance. Even as the Church, the bride of Christ, will be her loveliest at the time of her presentation to her perfect bridegroom, so should husband and wife desire to be their best when they come together. Rev. 19:7-8. Eph. 5:25-27.
Beyond doubt carelessness in these matters has dampened the ardor of some marriages and in fact it has been the beginning of the end for many.
As the priests washed their bodies and anointed themselves with the holy anointing oil before coming before the Lord (Exodus 29 & 30) man and wife should be clean and physically attractive when they come together. By this act of consideration they are setting themselves apart for each other. This not only makes them more desirable physically, but shows honor and respect that further enhances their delight in each other.
Needless to say personal cleanliness includes bathing, careful brushing of the teeth, liberal use of mouth wash and a breath sweetener, if necessary. Appropriate dress, grooming of the hair and modest use of lotion and perfume also make the marriage bed more attractive.
The woman, which is a type of the Church, is not usually as sexually aggressive as the man. Being the weaker vessel (I Peter 3:7) she is more timid and fearful than the man. Consequently she is more subject to mental hang-ups that hinder and keep her from yielding herself in sexual intercourse. Fear of others hearing or knowing, pregnancy and fear of failure itself can make a woman frigid and unable to respond.
For this reason the man, which is a type of Christ, must patiently and affectionately prepare his wife for sexual union. As the Lord through the word and operation of the Holy Spirit inspires faith in the Church, the husband through love and tender masculine assurance inspires faith in his wife for sexual intercourse.
A woman not only wants to be loved, she must be shown that love in tender endearments. This along with proper physical caressing prepares her both mentally and physically for sexual union. Since the wife is more timid and frigid by nature, the husband must patiently wait on her. Even as the Lord is patient while working with us and preparing us for spiritual response to him, the husband must be patient while preparing his wife for sexual response.
Since the woman’s vagina is delicate and sensitive, the husband should be very careful not to hurt her. This is especially necessary until they get adjusted to each other. Even after adjustment and sexual rapport has been achieved the husband should be tender and considerate during the sex act. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it.”
This command to love our wives is something we have to do by word, action and deed. It is not just a feeling we try to conjure up toward them. We might not always feel love and affection toward them and have to do these things by faith. As we practice love and consideration the Lord will take care of the feeling.
Husband and wife should delight in each other in the sexual union as well as in other things. This delight should be expressed to each other before, during and after sexual intercourse. Our minds and mental attitude make all the difference in the world as to how much we enjoy ourselves. Our expressed enjoyment and delight also has a positive effect in helping our wife or husband enjoy themselves.
I believe the sexual climax, which is earth’s greatest physical ecstasy, is a type of spiritual ecstasy experienced by believers when their cup of spiritual joy runs over. When their cup runs over they give vent to their feelings unashamedly.
Neither do we mind expressing ourselves in regard to good food or other earthly pleasures, why not sex?
Notice how the bridegroom delights in his bride in Song of Solomon 4:1-10. Behold, thou art fair, my love: behold, thou are fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks; thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!”
Sex in sanctification is nothing to be ashamed of. We can actually thank God for this provision of grace. In fact I have known of couples being overcome with the presence of the Lord during the sex act and burst out in praise to God for his goodness to them.
Only the prudish and unenlightened take a negative attitude in thinking of sex as something to be enjoyed in the dark but looked upon as evil when it is light.